Ok i know i havent blogged for forever. But. Idk. I feel shitty no in the cry me a river way just feel so shitty. Starting to regret all the things i thought i would not regret... Missing so many things that i just didnt cherish. I have reached the things i used to want but.. i still feel so shitty and empty. I miss them, i try to convince myself that i hated that life but i enjoyed it back then.

Ok these pictures make me miss london like shit. London has one of the most beautiful nights. Ever.

I wanna go somewhere far away, pretend theresnothing to care nothing to feel nothing to fight for. Pretend the world is carefree and happy. Anywhere but here

But  i cant help but feel the life we're living, the live we're gonna live... Isn't it rather empty? School, grades, results... These things will eventually evolve into Money, status and career. Just another gauge of our aptitude. Such an empty life.

Shit i don't even know why i feel this empty feeling. Its not the love bullshit and all that its just.. You know i feel empty. I don't know what i want , i don't know what there is, i don't know where i'll be. What kind of life, is this?

Empty words and pretty lies

If we can't be happy, i'm satisfied with being content

I really needed this june holidays break.. And i'm sure i'm not the only one. Everyone feels like shit. And this short break helped us get back on track.

Needa address this class thing. We're falling apart, which sucks balls. 2C rocks   rocked. I think theres miscommunication srsly.

I guess i won't have any false hopes. I know my limitations.

Short post heh.

Cause the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true

This song is so wow

I feel so pathetic, having beg for these little glimmers of happiness. Sure i have great friends and all that but i still feel quite shitty. But they have their own problems... Its as if someone stole the happiness out of everyones eyes. It sucks.

Anyway, last week was the last week of 1st semester. Could have ended on a better note but heck we're all tired so..

Made some new friends, lost some. Guess life is like that - everchanging. But i'm content. Dispirited but not suicidal.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone
I'm getting older and i need something to rely on.

Don't i get a shot at this?

Life Sucks

Sucks when people drift. And its weird, now i feel safer around people whose flaws are shown straight away when i get to know them. Not some Mr/Ms Perfect who seems so perfect but actually hiding some massive personality problem. Yeah i'm not perfect.. I try to have as little flaws as possible, maybe that in itself is a flaw. But i don't hide my insecurities or whatever.

What sucks more is that people expect me to be perfect and when i'm not, they just throw me aside. And then later i'm probably gonna be blamed for not holding out. So BS.

I guess sometimes my ego is too big, and i have too high expectations of everything. But its good to know that people have always tried to be there for me, even when i don't open up.

It sucks that i'm just better than average for many things. Yeah cca, school team but not the best. Grades. Better than average not PHL. Friends, yeah i have friends and no one hates me. But. I wanna be GOOD at something. I wanna be proud of something. But i'm not.

But you're just almost here...

Wow really got to know some new people.. Ben cheng, Caleb chee... Slacked with chen, olivia, rachel, caleb keith and stuff...

Ok so last thursday.. whoa so long ago. Me and rachel were extraing at Ben's bday celebration. Cause we were being nerds 'studying' at MP library with chen, while the rest were playing and stuff . Well since we were with chen the whole gang came along and we were asked along. So heck not extra alr :D then walked around and stuff. After lunch we walked to playground, then got ntuc trolley. They played with it the day b4 thn that day play again. Haha damn cool... So yu wan got in, olivia pulled the trolley and some guys pushed. Then when we approached this void deck, got this lady there using iphone.

When caleb walk by, he saw her quick;y go homepage frm camera. THats when everyon started panicking. Then olivia had the balls(ironically) to go up to her and negotiate and got her to delete the vid. So after that we went to the playground. End up nvr play when yu wan stormed off. But i don't blame her cause she was like the main paartof the vid.
 So the guys quite gentlemen lah go chase after her. I, being the last person, had to guard the bag ._. ... i watched the lady and then her friend came along and talk to her. After awhile she decided to come up to me cause she thought i thought she was some random stranger.

Then she was like "What school are you from?"

So i was like "FUCK". But i said " Why would you like to know?"

"Don't worry i won't report you"

"I can't do this to my friends"


"If i want i can ask the people around if i want to find out."


STORM OFF||

WTF rite. And she looked like some nice aunty. But its not even our fault. Cause someone else stole the trolley, we just pushed it around. Big deal.

But after that people were really awesome, planning to save each others back... Yeah honestly, the trouble makers ar e the nicest people. I mean, how many times have you thought about your parents being disappointed when you're at the principals office? So yeah.

 
  Damn cool shirt. I like.

Planning to work in the hols. I hate it when my mum gives me money without earning it. I feel damn lousy each time i accept it.

K tmr is science. Fingers crossed. Exams are so _|_